We had a reunion with our prenatal class participants this past Monday. It was pretty awesome to see everyone and their new babies. Our of the 7 couples, we ended up with 4 girls (Alison, Charlotte, Sunna, and Ada) and 3 boys (Simon, Wesley, and Owen). During the class we got to share our birth stories and I have to say, I feel like I got off pretty lucky. A few of the women ended up having difficult births. For instance, one woman was pushing for 4 hours, only to end up having to have a c-section because the baby just wouldn't drop. Another pushed for 3 hours and then the doctor had to do an episiotomy with forceps delivery. Sounds pretty horrific compared to my 30 minutes of pushing.
We also discussed post-birth adjustments. They mentioned the dreaded post-partum depression, and although no one seems to be experiencing it in a severe way, we've all had our moments of being completely overwhelmed. I totally understand why some women do get it. Its incredibly overwhelming and exhausting to have a newborn and you end up feeling like a failure half the time because you have no idea how to fix what's wrong with the baby sometimes. There really are moments where you feel like your not going to be able to do it anymore, where you need a break and where you just have to break down and shed a few tears, but those moments fade as quickly as they come. Hormones really are a bitch.
For me, because Ali isn't a crier, I haven't had the luxury of deciphering her cries. Most mothers get to know that their baby's high pitched cry means hunger and the low pitch means the baby needs a diaper change. For me, I basically have to go through the list and gradually rule out what's causing her fussiness. I always start with hunger because that's generally what she wants. Then move on to diaper, followed by just wanting to be held/cuddled, to checking her temperature (too hot/too cold).
She's generally pretty easy to settle, but the one that really stressed me out the first time was when she became over-tired. You end up going through your entire list of arsenal to get her to fall asleep (feeding/rocking/bouncing/bath/swinging/snugli/etc) and then just as you're about to rip your hair out in frustration, she passes out. Go figure!
Then once she passes out, you have to decide between eating, napping or showering because there won't be time to do all three. You gotta prioritize. How bad do I smell? How greasy is my hair? Can it wait until tomorrow so I can catch an hour of sleep? lol... Its kinda sad. Most days its 3pm before I realize I haven't made it out of my pajamas. The other day I managed to grab an hour and a half nap while she slept. Upon waking, since she was still sleeping, I thought I would press my luck and hop in the shower. Low and behold, the moment I grabbed the shampoo bottle, she woke up! Then it turns into a speed shower. If that were an Olympic event, I bet a new mother would win gold every time.
On another note, I'm not quite sure how people are unable to lose their pregnancy weight. I seriously don't have time to eat most days. I remember one of the first few days home I popped down a bagel into the toaster and 3 hours later when I walked back through the kitchen, I saw my sad lonely fully toasted bagel still sitting in the toaster waiting for me. I actually had to start writing down what I did manage to eat so I could make sure I was actually consuming something every day. I was pretty lucky to not gain that much weight to begin with, but by 2 weeks after delivery I was back to my pre-pregnancy weight and into my regular jeans again.
Everywhere I go as a new mother all I hear is "it gets easier" and I know its true. Its already much easier now at 4 weeks old than it was at 1 week old. The periods of sleep have gone from 2 hours long to 3 hours at a time. I've also started getting her on a routine at night (bath/quiet time/feeding/bed) which has really helped us both.
It really has been a life changing transition for me and I try to take it all in stride and with an excellent sense of humour. Between every moment of exhaustion and tears are hilarious stories I'll remember for the rest of my life.
